Friday, July 11, 2014

Doing Me While Doing for Her: The Guilt of a Single Parent Businesswoman.

Written by Guest Blogger 
Joi Donaldson/ Joi Unspeakable


Her eyes sent nails through my chest. I'm leaving home again, after being out nearly all day, to go to a networking event when my 5 year old daughter follows me to my room asking that question.

"Why do you have to go out again?"

My heart sinks deeper. It's a strange mix of guilt and indignation. That strong sense of "that's mommy's business" weighs heavy on me. Still, I want her to know why. I want her to know and understand why I do what I do. Why I own one business and am partner in two. Why I never want her to rest on a 9 to 5 existence. That it truly isn't just for me, but in some ways, it is. It hurts. I remember that feeling. I remember being that little girl asking her mom the same questions.

My mother was an entrepreneur, owning two businesses while also working a day job and caring for me. Unfortunately, my mother struggled with her own demons. Demons that often took her away from me both physically and mentally. She would go to business meetings in lavish family-owned restaurants, indulging in her favorite drinks with me in tow. I used to watch her, wanting to be that content, not realizing the hurt hidden beneath the successful surface. And now, as a divorced single mom, I struggle with not reliving those painful moments with my child.

My daughter is smart. Sometimes to her own detriment. Punishments are strategically doled out to a kid who has mastered the meltdown. She has discovered the easy ways out; a trait she could use to cure the world if done correctly and fairly. "Work smarter, not harder" I stress to her. I tell her to accept sacrifice. And, in the midst of blazing trails, I will sacrifice anything to have you safely by my side.

Mommy is a writer and author.
Creative consultant.

I want you to see all these colors painted out without it making you hate me in the process.

So how do I rectify this? How do I explain to you, my child, my comings and goings without sounding like a complete jerk?


This is the only way I know how to explain my current aspirations. Honestly, I want the world. I want everything God has for me. Every last morsel. And in wanting these things, I may not always be home. That doesn't mean I don't love you. That I don't care about your feelings. I do massively. Yet I know that to be the best for you, I must be the best for me. I promise to make your life worth it; to answer your questions and give you truth-even when it's hard to hear in the chaos of my explanations.

In a nutshell: mommy has businesses. I have businesses for myself and for you. I want you to see that and hopefully one day want your own. I have a lot to live up to due to my background and I want you to strive for even greater than my endeavors. Don't leave yourself behind, always remember where you come from, but also remain open to answer the "whys".

Joi speaks to a very good point. It's about having balance. Business and Balance is it really possible? Join us on 7/17/14 at 9p EST for a Twitter chat we are discussing Business and Balance. #dreamchaserschat

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