Doing Me While Doing for Her: The Guilt of a Single Parent Businesswoman.

Written by Guest Blogger 
Joi Donaldson/ Joi Unspeakable

"Why?"

Her eyes sent nails through my chest. I'm leaving home again, after being out nearly all day, to go to a networking event when my 5 year old daughter follows me to my room asking that question.

"Why do you have to go out again?"

My heart sinks deeper. It's a strange mix of guilt and indignation. That strong sense of "that's mommy's business" weighs heavy on me. Still, I want her to know why. I want her to know and understand why I do what I do. Why I own one business and am partner in two. Why I never want her to rest on a 9 to 5 existence. That it truly isn't just for me, but in some ways, it is. It hurts. I remember that feeling. I remember being that little girl asking her mom the same questions.

My mother was an entrepreneur, owning two businesses while also working a day job and caring for me. Unfortunately, my mother struggled with her own demons. Demons that often took her away from me both physically and mentally. She would go to business meetings in lavish family-owned restaurants, indulging in her favorite drinks with me in tow. I used to watch her, wanting to be that content, not realizing the hurt hidden beneath the successful surface. And now, as a divorced single mom, I struggle with not reliving those painful moments with my child.

My daughter is smart. Sometimes to her own detriment. Punishments are strategically doled out to a kid who has mastered the meltdown. She has discovered the easy ways out; a trait she could use to cure the world if done correctly and fairly. "Work smarter, not harder" I stress to her. I tell her to accept sacrifice. And, in the midst of blazing trails, I will sacrifice anything to have you safely by my side.

Mommy is a writer and author.

Photographer.

Videographer.

Creative consultant.

I want you to see all these colors painted out without it making you hate me in the process.

So how do I rectify this? How do I explain to you, my child, my comings and goings without sounding like a complete jerk?

Honesty.

This is the only way I know how to explain my current aspirations. Honestly, I want the world. I want everything God has for me. Every last morsel. And in wanting these things, I may not always be home. That doesn't mean I don't love you. That I don't care about your feelings. I do massively. Yet I know that to be the best for you, I must be the best for me. I promise to make your life worth it; to answer your questions and give you truth-even when it's hard to hear in the chaos of my explanations.

In a nutshell: mommy has businesses. I have businesses for myself and for you. I want you to see that and hopefully one day want your own. I have a lot to live up to due to my background and I want you to strive for even greater than my endeavors. Don't leave yourself behind, always remember where you come from, but also remain open to answer the "whys".

Joi speaks to a very good point. It's about having balance. Business and Balance is it really possible? Join us on 7/17/14 at 9p EST for a Twitter chat we are discussing Business and Balance. #dreamchaserschat

Speak Life

Written by guest Blogger: 

Nika Corbett of 30 days of Positivity

Daily we need to remind ourselves that we should be our own biggest fan. When you wake up in the morning, and you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you say to yourself? Very few people will say, “Wow, you are great and I love you.” There are more who say, “Wow, you need to lose some weight,” “So you are on your way to that dead-end job again,” or simply, “Nobody likes you.” What a way to start your day. We have to change those words being used by that inner voice, because if you say something to yourself enough, you just might start to believe it. Imagine starting off every morning, feeling joyous and in love with yourself. Your level of confidence will be increased and your ability to reach your goals will be that much easier and that much more fulfilling.

I watched a great documentary over the weekend and it was so enlightening. One of the doctors spoke about a study they had conducted, where this group focused on speaking love to themselves. So, I thought it was good information to share on our strive for Positivity. Daily, they were asked to look at themselves in the mirror every morning and say, “I Love you, right now.” Right after that they did say all that negative chatter began in their minds. So, they allowed it to flow and flow. When all the chatter stopped, they said, for a second time, “I Love you, right now.” From the study, they found that by day 28, that inner voice changed from the negative to the positive. They started to feel that much better, as if their inner mental state did a completed turn around, which resulted in inner joy. This new thought pattern resulted in these individuals having a better picture of themselves and truly being in love with who they are right now.

So, I encourage you speak life to yourself. Love yourself. Enjoy being who God made you to be.  Shoot for those goals and dreams until they are achieved!!!  You can make it happen!!!

To Learn more about Nika Corbett or 30 days of Positivity visit: www.30daysofpositivity.com